Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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