Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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