So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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