# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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