very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
