I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
