at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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