dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
