i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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