I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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