You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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