Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
