remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
