can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
