I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
