I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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