why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
