another moral hangover. fuck.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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