Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
pray to the hookup gods
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
