just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
