I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize