For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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