This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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