well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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