this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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