He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have demons in me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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