No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
