Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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