If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
