Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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