I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
