She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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