she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
