we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
