you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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