well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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