Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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