I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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