i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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