i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize