I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize