I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The air taste purple.
Randomize
