dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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