Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
