Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
