That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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