Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
