he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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