Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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