i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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