what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
