next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
