You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
