I love black thongs
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
