Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
