Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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