remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
