i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
