Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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