Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
