Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
