bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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