i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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