Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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