Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Randomize
