dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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