The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
