I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
nutella sex= disaster
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
