Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize