Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
