If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
