Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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